personal, Uncategorized

RAK or Common Decency?

Sitting on a coach post summer holiday gives you time to think about stuff, doesn’t it? 7 hours of fluctuating Internet, pens that run out and risk of minor dehydration when you run out of water, but most importantly, time to get lost in your thoughts at a scale greater than usual.  Now this is something I’ve contemplated for a while but never actually shared my views on, but I think it’s time.

Here, courtesy of, is the definition of ‘Common Decency.

RAK, being a modern slang term, technically doesn’t have a definition, but I’ll just tell you what it means: a RAK is a Random act of Kindness.

Whilst on holiday, there was a day in particular where my RAK game was strong (in the best way of putting it). It made me positive doing so, which is good I guess, though it wasn’t for me. However, one of these things referred to was certainly not an act of kindness. It was simply the right thing to do. Yes, kind maybe (though I’d call it polite), but it’s simply something I’ve been brought up to do and would genuinely do at any moment neccesary. It may just be the way I’ve grown up, but I’m not sure.

At one of the arcades in Blackpool, the baby change is down a small set of stairs. A woman came out with a child in one hand, buggy in other (as I was passing) and the next woman went into the cubicle. I saw many passers by simply walk past, even push past into or out of the female toilets beside it, but I didn’t understand why. Is it such a chore to help this struggling woman, really? I understand we all may not have the time 24/7, but even so how much could it hold up your day? I helped the woman with her buggy when she agreed to my offer before continuing about my day.

Now, to some, that action is deemed as sweet or kind but I hold the view that it should be the done thing, it’s polite.

And another action I’m unsure where falls took place too. A young singer/guitarist was busking in Clevelys when we visited for the day and I liked her voice a lot. Because I liked her voice, I gave her £1. Not a lot you may be thinking, but still something. What I’m not trying to say here is that this should be an expected action. I very rarely do this because I have no money to do so or if I do, can’t afford to give it to everyone I pass, but what I’m saying is I don’t deem it as a random act of kindness. It wasn’t ‘random’. I enjoyed her music, so I chose to give her my change. It was a choice I made. I guess you could say it was kind and definitely appreciated- the smile I recieved back from this stranger made every penny worth it even more so than before- I just don’t think it was ‘RAK’.

I’ve just been sitting here wondering where you draw the line. What’s a Random act of kindness and what’s just the right thing to do? There are some things I’ve done I do believe may be kind, but manners are not. Manners are given at no cost and I wouldn’t say kind, but morally right. And what about conscious acts that cause smiles? Giving your spare change to charity or sharing a compliment with someone you’re not neccesary friendly with? Though they’re not expected, is it really a random act of kindness?

This was not written to make you feel bad about yourself and may throw up some controversy. I do believe doing anything for the benefit for other people or even yourself should make you feel positive, and I’m glad if it does, but is it neccesarily a random act of kindness or are you just a nice person?

I don’t know. This was difficult to phrase and I hope it’s come across the right way, it’s just a little view I wanted to get off of my chest.

If you have any opinions on this, feel free to get back to me. I may not have the same view as everyone but I do respect other people’s opinions, even so.

I hope you’re all having a lovely week. Lauren xx

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