A wonderfully huge hello to you and Happy New Year!
How was your 2017? Quite frankly, mine wasn’t great, but I did have some amazing opportunities (I didn’t do a reflection post as I did that for my 19th birthday in just November- so not at all long ago).
I want 2018 to be okay.
I am terrified of 2018… If you know me, you will know that I have an irrational fear of even numbers, so 2018 is a scary year already (and the only way I can rationalise the date without having a panic attack is adding the numbers. 2+ 0 + 1 + 8 = 11. Eleven = odd. Tada!)
Regardless of being held down by that factor, I want 2018 to be amazing. I mean, what could be worse than last year? God knows.
I hope I can bring 2017’s great aspects into the year once more but strive beyond them, and learn from past mistakes and any hurdles I’ve fallen over through.
Anyway! Screw New Year’s Resolutions. I have my many internal resolutions but I find myself being extremely critical of myself and having these ‘resolutions’ as toxic tweaks of my personality, appearance, etc.
But…. there are some changes I need to make. A lot of the time, these are out of my control, and diagnoses means some of these traits are very much engrained in my personality so it is more difficult to change; there’s no off switch.
I have decided to make some New Years affirmations, instead. So, here goes:
1. I must stop taking things to heart so much. Things are likely not a personal attack, however it feels, and are sometimes barely even relevant to me.
2. I must stop getting caught up on people who don’t care. I give away too much of myself to non-reciprocal friendships and don’t have enough left for my own self or others whom are important.
3. I must still try to give all I can to others, but ensure I look after myself at the same time.
4. I will work on self love; I will love my body and living being; I will love and be proud of my personal successes
5. I will be unapologetically me.
I must work on these things, and congratulate myself for working on them in the name of self love and improvement.
I wish to be able to love myself and not take things so personally and let my emotions get the best of me.
My own mental health means I am very emotionally led as a person (and therefore form pretty intense relationships with people) so these will be a challenge- it’s in my nature- but I do find that intensity impacting me negatively a lot.
I have found some people find me too much, and I have been tempted to change on occasion due to insecurity about such, but I shouldn’t have to change me. I can still be me, I just need to be able to control the feelings I feel as a reverse of this.
Things I plan to bring into the New Year with me include:
- Keep working hard
- Not isolating the amazing friends I have
- Not working myself too hard (it’s easy to overwork yourself and when you’re chronically ill, that is much easier to fall into and much harder to get out of)
- Veganism. I prepare to strive through 2018 with compassion.
- My Lush family. Even the ones who are leaving next week I will hold dear to me and cherish our memories
I would also like to get my own domain for here at some point this new year!
Do you have any affirmations or resolutions to kick off the year? Do you need any support carrying them out? I would love to hear if you do!