Happy Pansexual Pride day!
As you probably already know, June is pride month, and within the month each LGBT identity is celebrated, together and individually.
Today, Pansexuality is the celebrated intersection…. and guess what: I identify as Pansexual!
Hearts, not parts.
What is pansexuality?
Before talking about the sexuality itself, I’ll break down the basics of the word;
Pan in Latin, means all.
A slogan well associated with being Pansexual is “hearts, not parts”. As a Pansexual, you fall for-be it sexually or romantically- the person in front of you regardless of sex or gender identity.
I’ve had many a person make the ‘are you attracted to pans?’ joke, or something about coming out of the cupboard rather than closet (admittedly, that joke is very clever) but as you’ve guessed… Pansexual people are not attracted to pans. This joke is hardly the biggest misconception, however; People think of you as some reckless lover.
I mean, I identify somewhere on the ace spectrum (and most definitely with the ‘demi’ prefix, meaning a strong emotional connection – regardless of how slow or fast it’s formed- must be felt for attraction), so I’ve always found the Jack Harkness Syndrome a little hard to deal with.
A lot of people take ‘all’ to mean a consistent attraction to everyone… erratically… whenever… which, yes, some people may feel, but not all of us at.
I am not a Captain Jack, who’s sexually attracted to, and I quote, ‘anything that moves’. It takes me a strong emotional connection to feel that attraction, and that attraction will happen regardless of biological implications and identity… and also, with all my soul’s dedication.
Love is love is love is love is love, cannot be killed or swept aside.
But…. isn’t that just Bi?
I. Have. So. Many. Things. To. Say.
So, have emphasised this point through the incorrect use of punctuation, purely for effect.
If you do not identify as bisexual, you are not bisexual. A person can identify- be it by sexuality, gender, health and beyond- however they, themselves feel most comfortable, and no one but them has the right to dictate that but them.
Now we’ve got that covered, let’s move on to linguistics and the typically defining factor.
Bi, in Latin, means two.
As I stated earlier, Pan = all.
Pansexuality offers the implication of more than two genders, binary or not, and the ability to be attracted to said genders, whereas typically, Bisexuality implies the attraction to two genders.
This is not to say that people who are bisexual do not believe there are more than two genders, or that they can’t be attracted to more than two genders, but this is frequently a defining concept.
If you feel most comfortable identifying as Bisexual? Amazing. Pansexual? Amazing. Polysexual? Amazing. Omnisexual? Amazing.
Whatever ‘label’ makes you feel comfortable- if any- is based around your own thoughts and feelings.
The Pansexual flag is pink, yellow, and blue; Here’s why.
Image taken from Pinterest.
My experience and queer revelation.
I know finding your sexuality and finding a label that fits can be a complex process to deal with, and many people don’t want to identify at all, which is also fine, but personally… I find my label of being ‘queer’ and ‘Pansexual’ very self empowering.
Now how did my identification journey begin?
Sixteen years old, 3am me had butterflies talking to one of my best friends of many years. Why? What was this feeling? Why did we stay up so late talking of all and nothing? Secretly, when we spoke of crushes I wished I was hers but never expected it to be, and didn’t even know it at the time. When it was confirmed to be me, I was frozen. I was overwhelmed- is this what a crush feels like?
I had never put myself into the box of heteronormativity- and had identified as solely ace/demi the few years before- so it wasn’t a big, scary revelation for me, luckily.
I texted my then relationship guru and good pal Kayleigh, a little confused, and she helped me clarify…. yes, I had the same feelings.
I can’t remember every step of the way, but a moment I do remember was in rehearsals for The Wizard Of Oz with my pal, Jess, we got onto the topic of sexuality. I felt comfortable in stating I didn’t really know how I did identify, and told her my emotions.
Why should the sex and/or gender identity matter when it comes to love or deep rooted care? What difference does it make?
I love the person, and will not allow that to be defined by how they identify.
That moment was the one in which I knew ‘Pansexual’ summed up all of my feelings- past and present- I’d never managed to fit into a box before.
Of course, regardless, I will always respect a partner or crush’s gender identity and sexuality, but however they identify will not define my own feelings.
I once more repeat; Hearts, not parts.
Pansexual identifying celebrities
- Joe Lycett
- Courtney Act
These are three of my favourite people full stop, so knowing they identifying as pan makes me feel much more confident about my sexuality.
I also predominantly identify as ‘queer’, as Rowan Blanchard also identifies.
Disclaimer: Due to the past nature of words such as queer, if someone does not identify as ‘queer’, please respect them in not referring to them as such. Respect and comfort is extremely important for liberation and pride.
So… Happy Pansexual Pride day to all you folk like me, and Happy Pride month to you wonderful LGBT+ folk and allies out there.
Keep loving who the hell you want, and love yourself for that, too!